i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize