That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I want a musical about memes.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
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