I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
