Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
