Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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