addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
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