in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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