There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
