The best revenge is premature balding
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
