chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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