What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
