who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize