I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
