Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
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