there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
