so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
