The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
