the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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