I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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