i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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