I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
