i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
