I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
