Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
