FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
