Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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