i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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