omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
do nipples grow back?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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