I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
