I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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