Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
sarcasm needs its own font
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Randomize
