He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
