Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
