i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
