he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
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