Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I just gargled with NyQuil
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize