bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
