i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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