I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize