Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
