Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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