just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
