Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
