So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
