I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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