just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize