I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
God I need to hump something, right now.
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