Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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