We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
