I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
