She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
