This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
