i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize